Part 7 - C.B.T.

"Again and Again" - Taproot

The following definition is taken from http://www.enotes.com/gale-psychology-encyclopedia/ ; an on-line encyclopaedia of psychological terms and illnesses:

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy - A therapeutic approach based on the principle that maladaptive moods and behaviour can be changed by replacing distorted or inappropriate ways of thinking with thought patterns that are healthier and more realistic.

C.B.T. is always the first port of call for all depression therapy. It’s been a tried and tested method of, not so much curing the disorder, but of how to manage and control it. Most people that are diagnosed with depression will at some point, come to the realisation that this is a life long illness, but C.B.T. helps sufferers to recognise when depression is "active", and teaches skills to combat the vicious cycle that depression and the thoughts associated with it, can become.

When suffering depression, a small incident can become the end of the world. Speaking from experience, I have had times when a run of the mill disagreement with a friend can lead to me having suicidal thoughts. This is pretty normal behaviour for sufferers of depression. And very often, one "bad" (or depression controlled) thought, can lead to further, more intense "bad" thoughts, until there is either intervention, or a self-destructive climax to the event. C.B.T is about learning to recognise when these thoughts patterns are beginning, and due to this awareness, stopping the build up and escalation of these thoughts from continuing.

The first way that I was taught how to stop these thoughts was "elastic band therapy". This part of C.B.T. therapy involves negative reinforcement. I had to wear an elastic band on my wrist, and every time I had a "bad" thought I had to flick it. Really hard. And it hurt. Like hell. This would then, due to the negative reinforcement, subconsciously discourage me from pursuing these thought patterns. This is a very basic psychological principle, but with persistence, it can work for younger depression sufferers, whose depressive behaviour isn’t as habitual. And it did work for me for a short time. However, there was a lot more to come yet, that would mean than I would require more help than an elastic band could provide.

Part 6 - Pre-Diagnosis

"For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic" - Paramore

My parents marriage has always been rocky to say the least. What with my Dad’s emotional stiltedness, and my Mother’s concise little ways, I’m sure they’re not the best pairing Cupid ever made. On leaving the Royal Air Force, my parents were forced to spend more time together than they had since they were teenagers. This did not create good prospects for a happy household. They had always tried to leave me out of their marital debates, but by the time I turned 13 my Mom was confiding in me as though I were her friend, not her daughter. I didn’t need to know a lot of the intricate details of their personal lives, and, although I was glad to offer my Mother the support she needed (and to often vocalise my Father’s side of the arguments when he wasn’t around to do so himself), it wasn’t long before my teachers began to notice the change. A once bubbly and out-going child, turned into a sullen and exhausted one.

I entered therapy for the first time. My parents were shocked, and slightly bemused, but this is what I suppose the teachers felt best for me once I was asked and had explained the circumstances of my home-life. It wasn’t really steady therapy, and I don’t think it helped much at the time, as I always tended to focus on the little things and not look at the "big picture". I did, however, learn about C.B.T. for the first time, and my fascination of psychology was born.
I don’t think I’ve ever met another depression sufferer other than myself, who has a genuine medical curiosity about her disorder, and others of it’s kind.

Part 4 - The Medical View

"Missing" - Flyleaf

The following definition is taken from http://www.enotes.com/gale-psychology-encyclopedia/ ; an on-line encyclopaedia of psychological terms and illnesses:

Depression - An emotional state or mood characterised by one or more of these symptoms: sad mood, low energy, poor concentration, sleep or appetite changes, feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness, and thoughts of suicide.

Although a very basic definition, it is concise in it’s accuracy. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the most used diagnostic tool in psychiatry, delves further into this condition, and breaks it down into a much more detailed synopsis. I wouldn’t like to recite them all, so I’m just going to focus on the specific type of depression that I suffer with.

I would like to stress at this point that there is, and always will be milestones of difference between stress, anxiety, mood disorders, and depression; although one of them may lead to further symptoms of one, or more of a variety of conditions relating to the others.

I do suffer severe anxiety, and stress, but this is largely a direct result of my illness: Clinical Depression.
I believe clinical depression to be different from other similar disorders, as clinical depression can be viewed as a medical illness.

The brain produces chemicals to influence your emotions, one of which is called serotonin. Serotonin is the chemical your brain releases when you are "happy". For example, most people enjoy chocolate. Chocolate has been scientifically proven to increase the production and release of serotonin in the brain, so therefore you feel really happy when you eat it. Simple biology really. The vast majority of the world’s human population have slightly fluctuating levels of serotonin production, so may feel a varying degree of happiness throughout their lives.

Clinical Depression is caused when the brain does not produce or release anywhere near a "normal" amount of this chemical, leading to the symptoms briefly described in the above definition. This is a medical disorder, and not just a "made-up" illness for those deemed less able than others in society‘s eyes, as some people would see it. I find this misconception irritatingly ignorant, and one I try to dissuade people from, whenever possible.

I believe this attitude towards the "none existent" condition of depression can be cured with awareness, knowledge, and education, about the illness. It can be hereditary, either through the passing down of this chemical deficiency (which cannot be proven), or the environment of your up-bringing being altered by a parents/guardians experiences with the illness. This is something that I will have to live with, to a varying degree, for the rest of my life, and the constant up-hill struggle to validate this disorder to uneducated people, is never going to help sufferers of the illness. And there are millions.