The Last Year: Work

“Cubicles” – My Chemical Romance

On the first of November 2011 I got moved across office to sit next to my best friend. And we had the best of times. Amy and Emma land was open.

At the end of November, our relationship status changed (that will be explained in due course), and then on the 2^nd of December, my best friend was made redundant. The last shred of joy that I had whilst working within that company was lost. I was left with the terrible realization that although work had helped me through my troubles in the past; it was now the one major trouble that I had yet to conquer.

A few redundancies were occurring within the company, and I looked to another department (away from my slightly psychotic senior-manager) to find solace. I applied for one of the positions being brought about through redundancies, and I shone. I have never had such complimentary feed-back after an interview before. Although I didn’t get the position, the encouragement that I received boosted my esteem so much, that I believed I could finally escape the oppression that I was suffering in my current role.

I started to apply for every job that I could think of. In cities a distance from my home-town, in sectors I had no knowledge of, jobs below my rank. Absolutely anything; just to be free.

And I kept applying. And kept applying. And then. . . I applied for some more. Of the approximate 300 jobs I applied for, I got six interviews. Six!

After my first interview, having being turned down yet again, someone gave me an invaluable piece of advice: “You’re too good at the sector you work in to give it up and change career paths now. Go that way.” And that’s when I started applying to companies similar to the one I worked at. And I found my dream job.

I initially applied for the job believing that it was beyond my skill set, but so that I would be able to get my CV into the company for review. I was utterly shocked when they wanted to actually interview me for that role. I have never enjoyed an interview so much before. I felt confident, and like I had a real chance of getting the job. I eagerly awaited the decision, and was absolutely distraught when I was turned down for the job. The HR manager called me to let me know, but said that they (the HR manager and company MD) had really liked me, but they couldn’t offer me the position at that time, as an internal applicant had come up. They would keep my details on file, and would definitely think of me in the future. I began my job search again, but the problem was that I now knew where I wanted to work; I just had to get my foot in the door.

Shortly after this interview, my current senior manager (demented) had started to move a large bulk of my workload to other people within the department. Then came the news that three of us, including myself, would receive “risk of redundancy” letters, but that all three jobs would be amalgamated into two positions, and that all three of us would instantly be entered into the running for these two jobs. So of three, only one of us would actually lose our job. My general feeling, due to the movement of workload, was that the decision had already been made.

I spoke to our HR manager, who was next to useless, but the legal advice bureau that I spoke to about the situation wasn’t. I was being made redundant unlawfully. I finally had all the ammunition that I needed. I walked into a meeting with my crazy boss, head held high, and strangely enough, the redundancy proceedings stopped there. But it was too late; I was already lost.

I’d kept an eye on any other jobs being advertised by the new company, and rang the HR manager about a temporary admin job being advertised. I was told by her, that I was too good for that role, but that she’d be in touch with me soon about another role that may become available (and that was suitable) within the near future. Little did I know that the internal applicant for my initially interviewed role, was definitely not working out, and was soon to get the chop.

On the 27^th of April, at three o’clock, I received that call that I’d been waiting for four months to hear. “We’d like to offer you the role of Publishing Co-Ordinator. Are you happy to accept?” Happy! I was overjoyed. The role meant that I’d be working for a small firm, which publishes self-help titles on everything from mental illness, to surfing. I’d be overseeing all editing of the books, would be commissioning new titles of my choice, would be reading and reviewing manuscripts, and picking authors. My job’s expanded a little since I started, and I still love every single day that I get to go to work.

I left my old job, two weeks later, with a two week holiday in front of me, renewed confidence, and a sense that my career was finally going where I wanted it to go. My last day at the old job, was heart-breaking after six years of service, but I left it with fond memories of everyone that I had met there. My first day at the new job, after getting a huge pay-rise, was terrifying, but I got through it, and have never been so happy to go to work in my life. The people are great. I’ve made some fantastic friends, one of which is Peaches*. In the department we work in, which is only a small division of a much larger company, there is the boss, Daisy*, who works upstairs, and then an office with Peaches and me. She’s a good old girl, and has proven herself to be an awesome colleague and exceptional friend. I was given no choice but to like her, although it’s pretty hard not to. Sometimes, she can be a little black-and-white, and has a severe lack of empathy, but she makes me smile, has taught me that I can be a good friend to, and I enjoy all eight hours a day that I spend in her company.

My new boss was just as easy to take to. A diamond in the rough, she’s built up, along with her sister, an amazing company, which was handed down from her parents. Two years my junior, she’s accomplished so much in her life, whilst remaining down-to-earth (common) and hilarious to boot. I’ve never had a manager ask to progress me before, or had them be impressed by my skills. It’s all very new to me, but I’m learning to take a compliment better every day, as I seem to get a whole bunch here. This new feeling allowed me to halve my medication dose within the space of two months. A very positive move indeed. And one that I was proud of.

I met some amazing people at my new job, people that I really depend on. Including the very same HR manager that offered me the job. She went through an experience similar to Lauryn’s childhood abuse, and I showed my true colours the evening that we were all out together. Knowing how I’d want someone to act, when she was confronted by her abuser, my instinctive reaction was to defend her, and step in between the two of them, until her boyfriend had been summoned to the rescue. For this, what was to me, a small act of kindness of my part, I’ve made a very strong friend, and I began to feel that I could actually talk about my craziness without fear of judgment. I am completely accepted, which, in turn, has helped me to accept myself more. I’m not all bad! Unfortunately, Little One*has now left the company, but her legend lives on, and we’re still in close contact; the three of us (Peaches, me, and Little One) becoming almost akin to the three musketeers. And we cause about the same amount of trouble.

N.B. This post is the first, except for “The New Introduction” post, of the new writings.